I always have so much in my head that I never know where to start. I do know I have a pattern of saying I fell off my diet and now I'm back. Its true every time too! I always feel pretty bad about it too. Honestly, I'm human and I'm a pretty average human at that. Eating healthy is hard and making time to exercise is hard. Losing weight is hard. I know I'm not going to be perfect all the time, and that's okay. I think if I can start being on my healthy eating kicks for longer between my diet collapse I will have made progress. The fact that I'm still interested in doing it and still interested in working out is progress. I'm proud of myself for continuing to do this even though I'm not seeing results on the scale. I am feeling the results. When I first started I struggled to get through 10 biceps curls with 10 pound weights, and now they are easier. I'm not quite ready to up weight or repetition, but there has been improvement. I thing my legs are stronger too.
I'm going to add a new tracker to my motivation chart. I'm going to track weeks I go and stay in my calorie range. I get one sticker for every week my net calories are at or under my target. I have also decided on a plan to combat the hungry when it strikes. About every 3-4 weeks (when the hungry comes) I'm going to increase my calories to 1800-2000. I may not lose any weight that week, but I also shouldn't gain any. If I try to stick to 1600 calories during that time, I know I will fail. I want to work with myself, not against. If I need more food during that time then so be it. I will eat more, but I will try to keep it healthy. I tend to crave protein and carbs, so I will eat lean protein and whole wheat foods.
I'm realizing there is a good chance I will never be 120 pounds again. I may never even reach 130 pounds. AND THAT'S OKAY!!!! The important thing is that I'm taking care of myself. If I'm generally eating healthy and exercising then I will try to not get stuck on the number on the scale. Its about being healthy. I can base this on nothing but I how I feel, but since I first started this blog, I feel healthier. My knee gives me fewer problems as well.
As this has been a rambling post, I shall continue to ramble. I have started taking steps to go back to school for my Doctorate in Physical Therapy. I am excited about starting something new. I have started studying to re-take the GRE and I have started observation hours at physical therapy office. I'm hoping to learn a lot. I need to take a few classes as well. And now I have completely lost my train of thought, so thats it for now.
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