Muscles, Mimosas, and Misery

I went to the psychiatrist today.  Overall, it was....well...it was an experience.  I have been terrified of taking meds from the beginning.  This fear has fueled my anxiety towards the psychiatry visit.  I was cool, calm, and collected as I pulled into the parking lot.  I was calm and confident as I opened the door to the building, but the moment I entered the waiting room panic welled up inside me.  "Fuck, I'm really hear," I thought.  The initial process was no different from any other doctor's office.  I filled out the intake paperwork and had my vitals taken.  I was then sent back to the waiting room.  A few minutes later I was called back to the "exam" room and my panic continued to grow. My therapist had been very insistent that I see the actual psychiatrist.  I would have been so much more comfortable if I had seen the psychiatrist.  Instead, I saw the nurse practitioner.  I have nothing against nurses, and I kno...

Good Morning World! I am much less scattered this morning.  I was able to get a full 8 hours of sleep without drugging myself which is fantastic.  I want to take this opportunity to write about Bipolar Disorder.  I could write out all the clinical symptoms and how to diagnose, etc, but that is not what this is about.  All of that information can be found online with a quick search.  I want to delve deep into what it means for me and how impact my life.  I am also going to take a moment to reflect on how so much of my life makes more sense knowing that I am Bipolar. For anyone who is unfamiliar with the disorder, Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness characterized my periods of depression, mania, or mixed episodes.  I started experience symptoms of hypomania in September and was subsequently diagnosed.  I think I would have continued un-diagnosed for several more weeks or months had it not been for a fantastic therapist that I had seen in the pa...