Muscles, Mimosas, and Misery

I've been wanting to write for a while, but just journaling hasn't felt right.  This seemed like the best blog given the subject matter I have been mulling over in my head.  My life has changed a lot over the last few years.  I graduated college; got a job, and am getting married.  The back injury took years to fully recover.  I now have illiotibial band syndrome, but this should be getting better with some physical therapy.  I know for a long time I have had body image issues.  I looked through some old photos on facebook and found one of me when I was TINY.  It was probably at the peak of my physical health.  I probably weighed 125-130 pounds.  Anyways, I remember duct taping my stomach down when I first tried that dress on.  Really?!  Now, 30 pounds later I still feel that same way.  I feel very uncomfortable in my body.  I keep thinking about losing weight, but then I don't.  I don't have the right motivati...

Today I am very frustrated and depressed.  I was planning on using my old Bellydancing stuff for a Halloween costume and realized just how much weight I have gained.  My back is injured again (can't feel my left foot) so I can't run.   Just generally depressed.

So, school took over there for a few months.  To be more precise, school kicked my ass for a few months and was down to sleeping only an average of 4-6 hours a night.  My current philosophy is that if I don't have enough time to sleep, I don't have enough time to work out.  Unfortunately, my diet went to hell also.  I'm trying to pinpoint the area of where I get messed up the most. I know I have a sweet tooth like you wouldn't believe.  Given the choice  I would probably live on cookies and ice cream.  My other main diet are problems are a little more complicated.  A lot of it is time related.  If I'm running behind in the mornings or in general I don't have time to eat breakfast, pack a lunch, etc.  This leads to me eating fast food or junk food from a vending machine.  Now I could get a salad at a fast food place, but salads tend to be more expensive when I get a burger and soda for $2.  Of course, I can get a week's worth ...

I got in 1 kettlebell workout and 2 runs since Wednesday.  I was going to do another kettlebell work out tonight, but work and homework got in the way.  Overall I would say I'm doing a decent job with it though.  Still better than doing nothing!!  I decided to have some delicious veggies tonight.  I once got steamed broccoli with peanut sauce from The Grit in Athens (a delicious vegetarian restaurant).  I'm imitating that tonight.  I steamed my own broccoli and bought a package mix for the peanut sauce.  I'm sure making the peanut sauce from scratch would be even more delicious, but a girl only has so much time.  I'm also having a baked sweet potato for some extra content. Broccoli cooked well is great, but I would have to eat SO MUCH to get full.

This weekend has been just full of things going on.  My plan when I left class Friday was to clean up and do lots of homework, but so far that hasn't really happened.  I've worked everyday, and work has been super busy, so I've been very tired when I get home.  My Dad came up for a visit on Saturday.  We went to Helen for drinks; it was a blast.  There is a club in Helen I plan on checking out soon.  Yay, something to do, Finally!!!!!  Working out hasn't happened.  I'm going to try to get in a kettlebell workout today before work.  I was going to go jogging yesterday, but Brent didn't get off work until very late so I couldn't use his treadmill.  I've always been eating like there's no tomorrow.  All in all, not a healthy weekend.  This morning I decided to go for baked apples.  Turns out that all the recipes for them are really really bad for you.  I tweaked it a little bit, so hopefully it won't be as bad.  I...

I have managed to continue on my exercise regime even though I haven't been posting.  I have gone up one increment on the couch to 5k plan.  I started the Run 2 Walk 1 today.  It was a little painful.  Actually, it was more than a little painful.  I struggled, especially towards the end.  There were several times where I just wanted to jump off the treadmill and eat ice cream.  I made it through though!  Hopefully by next Friday the Run 2 won't be quite so harsh.  I've also continued with the kettle bell workout.  Pretty soon I think I'll be able to go up a few pounds on my kettle bell.  Right now I'm only using 10lbs.  Also I have had no back pain thus far which is AMAZING!!!  I may try bellydance classes again in a few months. Food really has been the big problem for me.  I'm not so great at exercising will power.  I want chocolate, so I eat chocolate, period.  I try not to keep sweets at my house becaus...

I finally made running happen yesterday.  Its been a very stressful week, but running helped.  Classes started on Monday, but my financial aid isn't coming in until the 3rd or 4th so my supply of food is low at best.  I stopped by to see if they could release my funds earlier just so I could eat, but alas they could not.  However, I was at least able to purchase my textbooks through the bookstore with fin aid.  The downside, I had to purchase all my books new, so $430 later.... I cashed in some change and got a sandwich and then went for a run.  I did the run 1 minute walk 2 with a 5 minute warm up and 5 minute cool down.  I was pouring sweat by the end of it.  I spent breakfast yesterday making a new playlist for running purposes.  Most songs labeled good for running are of the pop/club music variety and I'm not so much into that music.  Instead, I did a special search and came up with my own playlist comprising of folk, trip-hop, and...